Shambhavi

Parul, an IE participant from Delhi shares his experience of Inner Engineering.

She's called that cos' she's feminine. I liked the way its sound melted in my mouth, so well, that it fills me up even just to say it.

Shambhavi, its a way of meditation. It is offered and recieved, in a particular way, in the presence of a guru. It can't, be taught and learnt like the usual kriyas, asanas and other forms of yoga or meditation.

That's what is said, and I believe it, at the time it is offered to me, while it is also offered to 1000 odd others present with me in the stadium on 19th of Dec 2010.

Believe it or not, it has you the first time you do it. People say they experience ecstasy. It fills you up with an energy, of a kind, inexplicable by ways of communicating that you already know. That's why, its called ecstasy I guess.

My first time, it sent chills down my spine, and every bit of me froze as if I was inside a freezing water body. As if I wouldn't breathe again, or breathing itself was effort. And without any emotion and lots of pain, I cried.

I cried as I havent cried before. As I don't wish to cry again. If I had let go of myself, that last one percent, I might have shocked those sitting next to me. And then when it was done, when everyone relaxed, stood up and danced, I was still crouching to myself, frozen, empty and exhausted. Tears wouldn't stop. Shivers won't give away.

Later, a teacher explained: Shambhavi is feminine in nature. Feminine, cos it yields easily. You don't need years of practice before she yields for you. She is tender that way. And I loved the way he explained it. Shambhavi, it made sense. It made sense suddenly.

That day, they made us do it again (twice ie.) ; tears yet again, shivers yet again and a long blank, followed by a yearning to be held, consoled, drift away in slumber. Never experienced a blank like that before, like I didn't know where I am, what I am here for, not even an emotion, just cold and the pain.

-Parul Tongaria (Corp HR) BHEL